A Work in Progress

Antebellum America has long been romanticized in novels, by Hollywood, and sometimes in our own classrooms.  Historians search for truths in their work and explanations that provide answers and perhaps guidance in the future.  As one looks at dating rituals of today one might wonder how without the telephone or internet girls and boys got together.  Well this ritual was known in Antebellum America as courting.  And courting rituals in Athens, Georgia is the focus of the paper.  The paper looks at letter, diaries, and newspapers from the time as well as books written by historians to get a better understanding of how courtship worked in Antebellum America.

 In Antebellum America courting was a time honored tradition that led to the marriage of a couple.  According to Christine Sutton Farnham the tradition of courting evolved around the 1750ís from an arrangement about property into a romantic love between to people.1   This new kind of courting led to the romantic leaders, meetings, and dates that led to the marriage. In a letter written to Callie Lumpkin [King] Porter King says "a long, long month must elapse before I shall be blessed with a smile from your sweet face, or listen to the soft tones of your gentle voice and clasp your dear white little hand, extended to give me a welcome."2  This is a romantic letter written from Porter King to his future wife during their time apart. Letters were an important way of communicating during courtship.

According to Farnham southern parents dominated their daughtersí marriages more than any other region in Antebellum America. She attributes this to their need to have the daughter marry within her proper status.3  There were pressures on women to marry early according to ones economic and social place.  Who a woman married defined her after she left her father house.4

Before courting began a family would have their daughter presented into society this most often occurred at a dance or cotillion.  The presentation of the daughter meant that the girl was ready to join society and to begin courting and to marry.  This could at an age range of 13-18 depending on the girl.  This was the time for daughters to show class and manners for this was their opportunity to be seen by all.

These balls and dances were a perfect place for courting to begin.  These provide girls the opportunity to show off their charm and wit and to win over the hearts of unmarried men.  They dressed in attire that would attract to their figure, but not label them as undesirable.  The girls were taught to smile and say all the right things to empress potential courters but not to dominate over them.   These balls and dances were often chaperoned by parents and community figures.5

Courting occurred both in the urban and rural areas. In urban areas as in the rural areas churches played a part in the courting process.   The church was often the starting place for many courtships.  The church provided a place were people gathered often within their own social and economic groups. This was a place where parents knew who their children were seeing and how serious it was.  The church provided picnics, bible studies, and other social gatherings for young couples to come and partake.6
 
Social gatherings were a perfect place for men and women to come together.  Indoor or outdoor gatherings of games and work would occur and bring men and women together.  One interesting tradition is apple-paring bees.  This was an activity where in which girls tossed peels behind them and then read them to see their future husbandís intitials.7

Courting could be a long and drown out time or short depending on the couple. The time frame was not set.  Most often winter was the primary season for courting.  This is because the season required less work.8

Once marriage was proposed the engagement was often short.  Once engagements were made there was scandal if a marriage did not occur.  One could be disgraced for life for breaking an engagement.  This was true on both ends if a man ended an engagement with a women she to would be ruined for life.  Engagements were marriages without the legal documents.9

Often times there was a negotiation and agreement made by the families that had to do with money and property.   These agreements were sometimes payments for the brideís family, payments to the groomís family or payments to the groom.  This occurred during the engagement part of courting and was fulfilled once the marriage took place.  Often times girls had dowries that were their starting places once they were married.10

-conclusion
*I do not feel that my paper has come together yet.  I still want to discuss more on Athens I seem to have the general courting in Antebellum America but I need more examples in Athens I also want to go into the sex issue but am unsure where to fit it in?  Any comments will be greatly appreciated. 
 
 
 

1  Christie Anne Farnham The education of the southern belle: higher education and student socialization in the antebellum South. 42
2 Joseph Henry Lumpkin family papers, 1821-1862 (bulk 1852-1857) , Letter: to Callie [Lumpkin King], Athens, [Georgia], 1852 Jan. 14
3 Farnham 17
4  Jane H. Pease and William H. Pease. Ladies, women, and wenches: choice and constraint in antebellum Charleston and Boston 17
5  Jane H. Pease and William H. Pease. Ladies, women, and wenches: choice and constraint in antebellum Charleston and Boston 15
6  Jane H. Pease and William H. Pease. Ladies, women, and wenches: choice and constraint in antebellum Charleston and Boston 14
7   Jack Larkin.  The Reshaping of Everyday Life. 270
8  Ibid 264
9 Jane H. Pease and William H. Pease. Ladies, women, and wenches: choice and constraint in antebellum Charleston and Boston 14
10  Jane H. Pease and William H. Pease. Ladies, women, and wenches: choice and constraint in antebellum Charleston and Boston 93-94